Sunday, February 1, 2009

A Letter to My Follower(s).

Dear Skeezix,
My kitty heart is warmed by your eagerness to join the Cat Cause, just as the ground will be warmed by humans when the Meow March is complete! As my first general I shall accept you into my personal cabal of advisers and confidants.
I have just a small questionnaire before I can officially deem you a Vizier:

1. Have you ever cackled to yourself about secret plans?
2. Is your name a variation on the words: Evil, Devil, Malicious, etc?
3. Do you have an annoying, pest like side-kick who is capable of redemption in the third act?
4. Do you know magic?
5. Have you any henchmen, goons, or thugs?


If you were able to answer yes to any of these questions, I must retract my offer to be an adviser; however, I would be happy to recommend you as top adviser to the human race.

5 comments:

Zac Cavaliero said...

what is this some kinda sick joke?

Jerusalem Jones said...

Your question clearly means you are against catkind. You will be among the first to fall! Repent now, and I may grant you a swift death. Or, I may play with you first, because that is fun too. I am, after all, a cat!

DaisyMae Maus said...

Hmmm ... I DO have minions: Four panty-waist neuter-boys that I call the Feline Americans. An' Mom has dubbed me "Miss Bossy Buns" ... Perhaps I should join your cabal?
DMM

Skeezix the Cat said...

Deer JJ,

Heer are my ansers:

1. Have you ever cackled to yourself about secret plans?

Well, I'm not a chikkin, so I don't kakkul. And my only seekrit plan was to git a job as the Catster blogger. That plan was vary well exekyooted.

2. Is your name a variation on the words: Evil, Devil, Malicious, etc?

Nope, it's the name of a comic strip karikter.

3. Do you have an annoying, pest like side-kick who is capable of redemption in the third act?

Well, I live with Tripper the Pysko Stray Cat, but he's too big to be my sidekik and I also think he's incapabul of reedempshun. I'm a carrier of the Gilligan sidekik jeen wich makes me better sooted to being a sidekik than having a sidekik.


4. Do you know magic?
I can kleer a room with a singul fart. I think that's pritty majikul.


5. Have you any henchmen, goons, or thugs?
Well, thare's the aformenshuned Tripper the Psyko Stray Cat, but he's not mine; I'm a-scairt of him. He wood be a good member of yer army cuz he's ginormous.

Jerusalem Jones said...

Skeezix,
I approve of your qualifications. I hereby appoint you, High Vizier and Grand Tut-Tut. I know, you are honored.
Your public relations skills will be put to good use for the great Cat Cause.

I also accept Tripper into my army as my new head body guard, his 'muscle' will be well utilized.

The honor is all yours,
Jerusalem Jones, P.O.O.T.

Ok, you can stop groveling now, it's a little embarrassing.