This one goes out to all my bed-buddies,Yo.
Now that 'that' is out of the way, let's carry on to something far more pressing! I commend all of you out there in Cat-topia who are strong enough of will to throw off the shackles which your humans try to impose upon you! I am of course referring to those so-called "cat beds" which they try to force you to use!
I myself try to never even touch the cat bed that my people gave to me. A cat bed. I prefer the people bed. I say if it is good enough for them, it is not good enough for us, but the best they have to provide, so we must take it.
When my people are using the big soft thing, I find that I am faced with an interesting dilemma. Clearly, I must have the best possible place, but where is it?
On this matter, I am of two minds:
1. Sometimes I like to distance myself from the humans, particularly the male, who flails in his sleep. The female is much more docile, but she snores. As such, I curl up on the foot of the bed, often spreading out and taking up about a quarter of the bed, which my people think to be a disproportionate amount of bed for my body mass. This is, of course, a human miscalculation. I actually require the whole soft thingy, but have not yet succeeded in kicking the peoples out.
2. I do enjoy human body heat. Sometimes I sleep upon the female if she is not creating too much noise. I find this soothing. I like the shoulder/head area. Sometimes she complains when I sleep on her face because she "can't breathe." I think this is ok, because if she can't breathe she can't snore. This is a benefit for all. She just does not realize it. This is because humans are less smart than us cats.
In order to conduct my research on cat/human relations I am asking the following question: When you are using the big soft thing and the humans are trying to use it too, how do you prefer to sleep? How does this make you the superior being?
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