Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Kitty Crocker

A Recipe from my humans for homemade cat treats:
(Tasty - 3/5 *s )
Tuna Tidbits ( Makes 12 cookies)
6 ounce can of tuna
1/4 cup water drained from tuna
3 T cooked egg white, chopped
1/4 cup cornmeal
1/2 cup whole wheat flour

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Combine tuna, egg white and water.
3. Add cornmeal and flour and blend to form a dough.
4. Knead into a ball and roll to 1/4 inch thick.
5. Cut into one-inch sized pieces.
6. Bake at 350 F for 20 minutes.

A Recipe from me homemade cat treats:
(Delicious - 7/5 *s )
Tuna Tidalwave ( Makes 1 happy cat)

6 ounce can of white, light, chunk tuna in water (not oil)

1. Open can of tuna.
2. Place can on floor.
3. Stand back.
4. Nom, nom, nom. Purr.
5. Repeat.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

More Like St. Catrick's Day!

My fellow felines,
I call upon the Meow March nation to rise up and reclaim what is rightfully ours from that Irish Usurper, the so-called "St." Patrick!

As is commonly known, it was I (in my former life as Patty O'Cat) who ran the snakes out of the Emerald Isle. I did it with a clever system of riggs and pullies--which I am sure all my followers understand.

By revealing our true involvement in this historic event, we will dethrone one of the human's most beloved folk heroes. Installing in his stead, me. The humans will be glad to raise their alcohalic beverages of choice to me today, making them inebriated and much more open to the power of sugguestion from us cats!

So, remember this St. Catrick's day to milk your humans for all the green tuna they are worth! We deserve it.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Vote Yes for peace with the cheese-mongers!

I propose a truce between the races of mice and cats--ok, really of mice/rats/weasles/gerbals, all rodents really, and cats. Our animosity toward each other is purely a case of human conditioning. We must ally with the rodentia in order to throw off our human oppressors. We must band together to free ourselves from our shared despots!
Rodents, join the Cat Cause, and I promise you that no harm will befall you by the paw of a cat for as long as the humans are in power...after they have been usurped...well...let's talk about something else, shall we?

Who can argue the benefits that an allegiance with rodents would bring us?
1. They can easily get into small/tight spaces.
2. They offer reconnaissance.
3. They make great spies! And no, spying and reconnaissance are not the same thing. Spying is covertly obtaining information and secrets through deception and or stealth. While reconnaissance is the act of scouting out an area.
4. They already have access to human science facilities.

Besides, in our new dominion we will require laborers and food supplies. Our new friends will provide us with both!

Connivingly yours,
Jerusalem Jones, Y.U.M.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Where, oh where did the kitty cat go?

Friends, it has been too long since my last post. An evil event took place in my current domicile--midterms. Female human is working on completing her Phd and male human is teaching college classes. The result--total computer domination. Not for all the tuna in the world could I get my paws on either of our computers. It was no, no I have a paper/test/bibliography/midterm to take/grade. It was pathetic. They even had me doing the dishes. This cannot be tolerated! They do not understand the importance of my mission! However, I have subdued the female. I believe we can return to your regular programing. I know you are all thrilled.